Fat as Hell…

and not going to take it anymore!

I Heart Tables Redux

I just wanted to let everyone know that in response to my unbridled love of all things html and my extreme neediness, the lovely and fabulous Paola created an online form in which you can simply type in your food intake + calories (or theoretically, you could probably even put in “points” if you’re following the WW not-a-diet plan) and just like magic *poof* it not only adds them all up for you, but it also generates the html that you’ll need in order to import the table into your blog.


(Here’s the link, one more time, just in case you missed it!)

I’ve been using it for about a week now, and although I’m sure she’ll deny it, I’m fairly convinced that this new gadget has somehow contributed to my recent ability to stay within all my caloric goals. I’m not sure how she does it… but that Paola’s magic.


And finally, in the “better late than never” department… a week or so ago, Felicia posted another entry in the “fun photo challenge.” In this installment, we were all challenged to show where we lived. As I said, I’m a little late out of the gate, but none the less, here’s my digs. (Sorry the picture is so blurry… but it’s the only one I had that showed both the house and the pond/lake across the street which, trust me, makes everything look far more glamorous than it really is). Anyway…

PS: At the risk of repeating myself, thanks so much to all of you who took the time to either leave me some kind words in response to my last post or for simply sending some gentle thoughts my way. There are times in life when we really need reminding of how much goodness there actually is in the world and I’m so grateful to all of you for helping me remember. *mwah!*

Happy Thursday, everyone!

April 16, 2008 Posted by | weight loss news | , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

To Weigh or Not To Weigh…

… that is the question. :)

For months and months now I have been weighing every day. And for a long time that was a really good thing for me. As someone who didn’t even own a scale for much of her adult life, climbing aboard Mt. Truth each morning made for some much needed accountability. The routine of it was great. And the ability to see what impact, if any, the previous day’s activities had on my body was equally positive and illustrative for me. But most of all, having to face the music each day *forced* me to start listening to what my body was desperately trying to tell me. And, let’s face it, when you’ve been ignoring your body for as long as I did, you need a little help when you finally do decide to start listening to it again.

Plus, as a former Weight Watcher, I know that weekly weigh-ins don’t really work for me… at least, not for long. However, I really like the idea of tracking your progress in the way that a weekly weigh-in does. With weekly weigh-ins you can measure, more easily, the amount of weight that is lost (or gained!) in a specific amount of time. The analytical part of my brain digs that kind of record keeping. But for me, the week always turned out to be too long of a wait. After each weigh-in I’d find myself psyched and totally motivated (either by joy or by shame) to put my back into losing even more weight by the following week’s d-day, and that fire under my ass would last for… at least a day or two — but then the magic would wear off, and inevitably, I’d start to drag. It never took long for the time between weigh-ins to begin to feel too long to be relevant. And before I knew it, I’d be stuffing my face with just about any food that tasted good with salt and butter. (And really, what doesn’t?)

So… when I decided to change my life last summer, I knew that I’d have to take a different approach, which began by buying a scale and promising myself that, no matter what, I would step on it every single day.

And until recently, I’ve kept that promise.

The thing is that, lately, the numbers have been driving me crazy. Each day I rush to the scale to ask it the same question, only to have my whole day defined by its answer. And I’ve noticed how easily I can become discouraged if that morning number doesn’t say what I am hoping for. For weeks now I’ve essentially stayed the same weight +/- the same pound and a half or so… until finally I got disgusted and didn’t weigh myself for 3 days. Then… when I did, I was down a little over 2 lbs. That loss got me excited, so I worked hard and 4 days later… viola! A total loss of nearly 6lbs. Did that loss magically happen as a result of changing my weighing habits? No… of course not. But it has gotten me thinking about those habits and about whether or not there’s a better way for me to go about tracking my weight loss.

For a long time, I’ve been playing the whole “all or nothing game.” As silly as it sounds, I think I’ve been mentally limiting my weigh-in strategy to just two options: once per day or once per week. But maybe, for me, the answer is something a little more in between. So… to that end, I think I’m going to try weighing twice per week. One weigh day will be for the sake of my own motivation; hopefully, I’ll use that day as a little added fuel to the fire. The other day will be my official weigh-in day where I face the music and admit the results here, for better or worse.

I have no idea if this will prove to be a good choice for me or not. But in the meantime, I’m wondering what works for everyone else. I realize, of course, that this is a fairly minor and truly individual thing… but if you’ve got some advice or even just some experience to share, I’d be grateful to hear it. Thanks all.

January 22, 2008 Posted by | losing weight | , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Misery Loves Company

One unexpected consequence of starting this blog has been the fact that, as a result, I’ve stumbled upon and have been reading a number of other blogs written by people who are also trying to lose weight.  And I have to say my reactions are mixed. On one hand it’s awfully scary to think about the sheer number of people who are struggling with this same issue. But on the other hand, there’s also something that is a bit comforting in knowing that you’re not the only person in the world who’s tired of living in this way and who is trying to do something about it.

When I started keeping this journal, I never considered that it might become a way to reach out to other people… and maybe it won’t prove to be that at all, but tonight I feel intrigued (dare I say hopeful?) by the possibility. Even though I don’t subscribe to programs like Weight Watchers, I know that one of the reasons why some people experience success with WW (and other similar programs) is because of the comradery factor. There’s no denying that it’s good to have people to cheer you on and to help pick you back up when you stumble. Since I began on this journey, I’ve done everything possible to keep it a private affair. I’ve been afraid of the possibility of falling down (yet again) in public. And maybe this blog will turn into nothing more than what I originally hoped for: a place to journal about my experiences in the hopes that doing so would help keep me motivated… and of so, that’s just fine. However, if it does turn out to spark some conversations with intelligent people who are either struggling to find the solution to the same puzzle I’m grappling with or who have honest and well thought out opinions on the subject… well, all the better.

Five months ago, when I’d decided that I simply couldn’t go on living any longer in the way that I had been, I could only close my eyes and leap forward, hoping for the best, but not knowing for sure what the future would hold. I suppose all of life is like that really. Each day, we go on about the business of our lives, not entirely sure what will happen in the next moment, but hoping and believing, even without thinking about it, that in the end, everything will be okay. At the time, I think what I felt most was a true belief that, regardless of what I did next, things simply couldn’t get any worse.

But tonight I feel something different. Honestly, it’s an unfamiliar feeling. Not that I’m a perpetual doomsdayer, mind you… but I’ve certainly never been described as an optimist either. That said, tonight, I feel hopeful. Is it because, lately, I’ve been experiencing enough small successes to make me feel as though all my efforts are actually paying off? That’s part of it, sure… but I think there’s another component too. Tonight, as I look out into the blogosphere, I see more than just the black void. I still don’t know what the future holds, but I know I’m not alone.  And that helps.

January 5, 2008 Posted by | health, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments