Fat as Hell…

and not going to take it anymore!

The More I Know…

…the more I realize I *don’t* know.

Today was the first day that I *officially* started counting, recording and posting my calories again at the food confessional. As I said in that post, I nearly chickened out as a result of all the garbage that I put into my body today, but thanks (at least in part) to Sylvia’s comment on my last post in which she encouraged me to focus simply on getting back in the routine of managing my daily calories, (rather than doing that *and* focusing too strongly on getting them between 1300 and 1500 *and* working in exercise, etc.), I decided to take that first baby step. And, I must admit, I’ve learned a few things in the process:

First of all, I have to say thank you to Paola for editing her already fabulous table generating food diary tool such that it now includes the optional capability of calculating things like your daily intake of fiber, carbs, fat, sodium, etc. I’ve been wanting to, if nothing else, be more conscious of how the food I eat stacks up nutritionally for quite some time (rather than concentrating simply on the calories it contains), but have found the prospect to be a little daunting. But thanks to Paola now I have a really cool and easy to use tool to help me. So… thank you again, Paola, you are truly amazing.

Secondly, in some ways, looking at all of that stuff has me even more confused than ever. Given that today was something of a caloric anomaly (hopefully) I’m not going to get too freaked out about the amount of fat and sodium that I consumed (for example) but what I realized is that I don’t really know how much of these things I *should* be eating each day. Sure, I know the basics like fiber = good and sodium = bad, but beyond that, I’m pretty lost. And although this is probably a topic for another post, I have to say that this lack of information has left me feeling more than a little bit pissed off at my doctor. I have a good relationship with my doctor and, for the most part, I trust and respect him. However, what I realize now is that while he *did* issue me a huge wake up call, one that has, literally, saved my life, he didn’t provide me with any of the tools I needed to change the path of self-destruction that I was on. He told me that I needed to cut back on the salt, but he never once indicated to me how much salt is too much. Everything I’ve learned about what works for me when it comes to losing weight, I’ve either a) stumbled upon through my own research or b) mooched off of all of you. That said, I guess it’s time to do a little research. (Or… if any of you know have some insight into these things, please, enlighten me).

And finally, keeping track of all of this shit is hard work. It took me FOREVER to figure out exactly how much fiber, protein and carbohydrates were in everything I ate today and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there were *several* times when I wanted to say “fuck this!” and eat (another) brownie. But instead, I trudged forward because I know that eventually it will get easier *and* even though it took more time than I thought it would, figuring out how much sodium is in two cups of fresh spinach was, well… illuminating. I *learned* something through the process and that always feels good.

So… perhaps tonight marks something other than just another attempt to get back in the saddle. Perhaps this is more like a new beginning — you know, a fresh start, as it were, rather than just a return to the old habits that have served me well in the past. Either way, I’m feeling really, really grateful tonight.

I’m grateful for…

  • good friends who want me to succeed so badly that they are willing to *create* tools to help me get there.
  • the knowledge that even though I still have a lot to learn that I’ve got a plethora of resources at my disposal to help me put the puzzle pieces together.
  • the kick in the ass that got me to post my deplorable food intake today.
  • the safe and accepting place that I have to share the gory details of my fucked up relationship with food.
  • the fact that even though I didn’t want to, tonight I a) counted, recorded and posted my calories (etc) AND b) managed a vigorous 2 mile walk with my husband and 2 ridiculously cute dogs (I’m grateful for them and for my husband too, by the way!).
  • And, I’m really, really, (really) grateful that tomorrow marks the beginning of a new school year for me. I’m so looking forward to getting back into the old routines that helped me lose weight to begin with. I’m longing for a regular schedule and a lack of the mental and physical exhaustion that has marked my summer. Apparently, I’m getting old and stuck in my ways, but I don’t care. I need those routines. They are precious to me. And tomorrow, I get them back. Yay! :)

And with that, I’m off to bed. I hope all of you have plenty to be grateful for too.

August 17, 2008 - Posted by | losing weight | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. After mucho reading at the start of my diet and finding lots of conflicting information, I finally settled on these daily ranges:

    protein: 75g- 105g
    carbs: 120g – 165g
    fat: 33g – 40g

    It works out at about 50% of calories coming from carbs and 25% each from protein and fat.

    Note that 1g each of carbs and protein is 4 calories but that 1g of fat is 9 calories.

    As for sodium, 1g sodium = 2.5g salt. The recommended MAX for salt is 6g a day.

    People with high blood pressure should have max 3g salt a day (according to salt.gov.uk)!

    (I’ve had second-thoughts about my enhanced HTML generator and I don’t advise anyone trying to use it because it doesn’t know or save food info. Instead, keep nutrition information in a spreadsheet so that it can be reused and edited.)

    Comment by Paola | August 18, 2008 | Reply

  2. One thing that works for me with tracking calories at home: leave your food journal in the kitchen. I keep mine on the windowsill.

    When I go to work, I keep it on my desk. Keeping my calories under control isn’t easy for me, but having my notebook close by at all times really helps.

    Comment by pantrypuff | August 18, 2008 | Reply

  3. I have yet to try and do any type of food journal and I loudly applaud you for doing so.

    Have a great school year!

    Comment by Big Girl | August 19, 2008 | Reply

  4. I like the grateful list. What a good way to end off the day.

    Comment by Joe Average | August 19, 2008 | Reply

  5. http://www.myfooddiary.com

    It is 9$ a month, but has some great tools. Even if you just used it for one month you would have a great handle on the above questions. Calculates for you the percentages of your macro nutrients (carbs, fat, protiens). It also has a fun little smiley system that helps let you know how you are doing. Like if you have had too much sodium (Stay under 2000, but 1500 would be best, but it’s hard, so very hard!) or not enough fiber.

    Love your blog, you are on the right track!!!

    Comment by Sarah | August 20, 2008 | Reply

  6. myfooddiary.com looks fabulous! I’ve just gone through both tours.

    For those who want to post their food diary into the blog, I suspect one can just copy the HTML ( … ) from the Food Summary.

    Comment by Paola | August 20, 2008 | Reply

  7. I am always surprised by how little doctors are educated in med school on the profound effect nutrition has on health. I know a doctor who flat out hates nutritionists and thinks they are nuts! And when I was being treated for gestational diabetes, I was dumbfounded by the doctors nutritional “advice”.

    Anyway, you are probably best off on your own research and sharing with people here who have done some research already. If you really wanted to go the doctor route, seek out a nutritionist or even an intergrated doctor (they put a lot of stock in nutrition but also couple it with medical science).

    Sounds like you are doing great though. Just keep on going and things will start to fall into place. It IS hard. I am still at the point where I am saying “F” this and eating that other brownie because well, I guess I’m still intimadated by the hard work.

    Comment by SmushPants | August 27, 2008 | Reply

  8. Getting back into a routine is best!! Don’t worry about anything but that.

    Baby steps!!! :)

    Comment by chunky | August 27, 2008 | Reply

  9. Doctors don’t take a whole lot of classes in nutrition—that’s just not generally how med school is set up. I would suggest seeing a registered dietitian who has good references (some of them are pretty crappy, some are great) if you want more guidance. :)

    Comment by Sally Parrott Ashbrook | August 31, 2008 | Reply

  10. I use the sparkpeople free nutrition counting page to keep my food diary. It has a huge database of foods already in there so if I eat, say, a cup of carrots and 4 oz of salmon, I just type it in and it automatically adds up my fiber, protein, fats, calories, and vitamins for each day. Then you can look at a little graph at the end of the day to see what eprcent of your calories are from fat or protein or whatever. It also has the RDA guidelines in there.

    I think the main thing (for me) is to get enough fiber, and to keep the fat to about 20%. Oh and watch the salt. We really don’t need any *added* sodium in a day.

    You’re doing great by starting this way. Small steps turn into success!

    Comment by Lyn | August 31, 2008 | Reply

  11. Wow! Is really sounds like you are on the right track, good for you! I am so happy for you.

    One tool I use, because counting gets tiring, is http://www.mydailyplate.com
    It’s free, and very easy to use. I love it. It calculates all of the nitty-gritty for you, and you can even put in different portions if you didn’t consume a whole unit. It has been vital for me. I use it most when I know I am going out to eat (you can type in the name of a restaurant and find out all the nutritional information), that way I can know ahead of time exactly what is okay for me to get. This helps me make better decisions instead of just “winging” it. Good luck to you!

    Comment by Lynn- The Blubber Blog | September 5, 2008 | Reply

  12. I miss you!

    Comment by questionsfordessert | September 6, 2008 | Reply

  13. Come back!

    Comment by pantrypuff | September 7, 2008 | Reply

  14. Where have you gone? We miss you! :)

    Comment by Olivia | September 7, 2008 | Reply

  15. I hope you’re ok…it’s been a long time since you wrote and it seemed that you were in a pretty tough place….hope to read your stuff soon!!

    Comment by Megan | September 23, 2008 | Reply

  16. Heya hun, hope everything’s all right and you’re doing okay – we miss you!

    Comment by Marshmallow | September 23, 2008 | Reply

  17. Missing you ….

    Comment by Jenny | September 26, 2008 | Reply

  18. Hoping you’re okay, drop by sometime and let us know how you’re doing. {{{HUGZ}}}

    Comment by Marshmallow | October 8, 2008 | Reply

  19. I hope you’re doing well. I just realized this post is a couple months old.

    I have a little “weigh-in” on the whole calorie counting thing. I use a tool online at http://www.everydayhealth.com called My Calorie Counter that helps me keep track of what I put in my body. They have TONS of foods listed by brand name and all sorts of stuff that has their entire nutritional information. They also have nutritional tables for a number of diets that calculate your nutritional ratios and needs (carbs, fiber, sodium, etc) based on your caloric intake. They also have a place where you can add your activities, and itshows you how many calories you burned.

    Anyway, it’s pretty awesome tool. I’ve used it in the past and it’s made this whole thing just a little easier.

    Comment by Linz | October 8, 2008 | Reply

  20. I write a food journal as well I find that it really helps me to lose weight. I hope it is all working out for you.

    Comment by weight loss kate | October 10, 2008 | Reply

  21. thedailyplate.com also calculates all that stuff for you and shows the percentage of your daily intake and if you go over or stay under what the average amount is supposed to be.

    Comment by lauren | October 11, 2008 | Reply

  22. You can also count all your calories at caloriecount.about.com. It’s totally free :)


    Comment by White Flower | October 21, 2008 | Reply


    Comment by panrtypuff | November 12, 2008 | Reply

  24. I love my routines! I totally get where you’re coming from, but I’m also grateful for having a break to start new, healthy routines. I hope you stick with it and keep posting!

    Comment by Adult Weight Loss Camp | December 4, 2008 | Reply

  25. Hey. I’m starting over – want to join me?

    Comment by Sylvia | December 6, 2008 | Reply

  26. Great blog, great information!! The biggest factor is figuring out how many calories you burn and how many calories you take in.

    Comment by Herbalife Las Vegas | December 8, 2008 | Reply

  27. Darling – WHERE ARE YOU?! We miss you!

    Comment by fatbridesmaid | December 12, 2008 | Reply

  28. how you feeling now? that christmas is over and we are strolling into the new year?

    Comment by MizFit | December 26, 2008 | Reply

  29. Hello.I’ve just created a blog to collect interesting and really useful issues about weight loss for myself and the others.I would be thankful if you take a look at my blog and give me tips to make it better.

    Comment by Madam Tiny | January 2, 2009 | Reply

  30. Nice blog with some good information here. This time of the year is an especially good time for people to get motivated to lose some weight. Good luck to everyone!

    Comment by Mike | January 6, 2009 | Reply

  31. My theory is that if you count the calories than you aren’t cheating. It gives you a perspective of truth you know. I lost 130 lbs and not writing down what I ate during the loss made it hard to determine how much to “actually” eat to maintain. Keep up the good work and great job on logging the eats.

    Comment by run4change | January 16, 2009 | Reply

  32. You are exactly right, just writing it down is a good path to go down! I’m finding that the best way for me to stay within my calories is to have simple staple go-to meals that I can prepare and already know the calories of.

    Comment by Token Fat Girl | January 28, 2009 | Reply

  33. Oh well, I hope you got this. Love Laura

    Comment by Laura Fenamore | January 30, 2009 | Reply

  34. You’re so sweet and wonderful to write this blog. I have no doubt that it serves a great deal of people struggling with their weight — I don’t need to tell you that there are more of us than ever before. Funny, I still say “us” even though I released my weight a long time ago. (100 pounds) I just wanted to remind you that self-love and self-care is the foundation for everything else. ALL tools must be built and launched from that place in order to create the permanent change you want in your life. What does that mean? Well, you get to define it yourself, but certainly it’s support, friends, peacefulness, prayer and meditation, writing (okay, that one you’ve got down!)…

    If you need some more info on creating self-care, you can hit my website for my free report “Your Body’s Secret Language – How to Make it Say “YES” to Weight Loss Forever. I did.” or give me a call to talk about an upcoming course. But I want you to know that you can absolutely add me to that list of supporters. I will keep you in my BEST thoughts and prayers. A healthy body is your one true HOME from birth to death, and you deserve it.

    Yours truly, Laura Fenamore
    CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor

    my blog: http://www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com

    Comment by Laura Fenamore | January 30, 2009 | Reply

  35. Great post. It so often feels complicated trying to figure out the nutrition game, but I keep trying to think about it like its a foreign language I am trying to learn. So of course I don’t understand it fully yet. Of course it will take time and effort. Helps keep it in perspective. Thanks for sharing. Good luck.


    Comment by jen | January 30, 2009 | Reply

  36. Interesting blog with some good information here. This time of the year is an especially good time for people to get motivated to lose some weight.
    Good luck to everyone! …….. :)

    Comment by weight loss | February 12, 2009 | Reply

  37. It’s really worth consulting a holistic nutritionist about this stuff. I agree that it’s difficult to eat when you don’t know how much of what you’re supposed to consume! Feel free to email me if you want to talk more about this…

    BODA weight loss

    Comment by Stephanie | February 19, 2009 | Reply

  38. Good job getting in a long walk. Exercise helps so much!

    Comment by sara | February 26, 2009 | Reply

  39. where there is a will there is a way and it sounds like you have found that way great stuff

    Comment by herbalife Australia | March 16, 2009 | Reply

  40. I here you. Trying to figure out all the values for carb, protein, fat, fiber, soluble fiber is a real pain in the rear. Keep up with your progress.

    Comment by Fat Loss Please | March 31, 2009 | Reply

  41. I think that losing weight starts in your own mind. If you are doing it for yourself, because you want to do it and not because others want you to do it, then you have a better chance of succeeding.
    I had had enough of being fat and clumsy. I put my mind to the task and went from 240 lbs to 130 lbs. Its only when you become slim do you realise what you are losing out on by being fat.
    It can be done but it starts with you.

    Best of luck.


    Comment by Mary | April 20, 2009 | Reply

  42. If this program is not working for you, try the link below. Weight Loss is Guaranteed or your money back!
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    Comment by instantweightloss | May 25, 2009 | Reply

  43. great post thanks. being grateful is the secret to success. i love your philosophy.

    Comment by Aymen | May 26, 2009 | Reply

  44. You can lower your fat intact to 15 percent and also increase you raw vegetables intake

    Comment by Charles | May 29, 2009 | Reply

  45. Hi,

    I’d like to read more. Will you come back?

    Comment by tryingtogetthin | June 21, 2009 | Reply

  46. Keep up the great work!

    Comment by Phoenix SmartLipo | June 29, 2009 | Reply

  47. Has anyone seen this new lip balm that was on the Today Show claiming to help with weight loss? I found a few videos of it on youtube.

    Comment by Curious | July 16, 2009 | Reply

  48. I would love to read more

    Comment by Lose 50 pounds fast | August 2, 2009 | Reply

  49. I might have been mentioned in the comments already, but try http://www.myfitnesspal.com

    I used to use the sparkpeople food diary, but mfp is a bit more straighforward to use.
    if you set up an account with Sparkpeople it will give you all the infor you need on your carb, sodium, protien, etc needs.

    Comment by Shazzle | August 6, 2009 | Reply

  50. Hi there. Good on you for seriously trying to lose weight. I like comment 41 about weight loss being in the mind, that is correct. If you can get your subconscious mind to tell your body to lose weight, then that is what will happen with no will power involved. For more information you can find my new website through any article directory as I am a prolific article writer.

    Comment by J. Duncan McNeill | August 11, 2009 | Reply

  51. After reading your blog post today I went to check out The Food Confessional. I want to thank you for sharing that link because it was just what I needed after hitting my first plateau this past week. My weekly weight in was today and I was stunned when I got on the scale and saw that I hadn’t dropped a pound over the last seven days. I need to keep better track of my calories and pay closer attention to what I’m doing, so again, thanks!

    Comment by rexharris | August 16, 2009 | Reply

  52. You still around? Miss ya!

    Comment by Lyn | August 29, 2009 | Reply

  53. Very nice blog and amazing goal. One thing though, eating only 1500 calories a day will be very hard and is not easy to keep up. Making it 1600-1700 will be good enough if you’re exercising also. Definitely will keep checking back to see your updates!

    Comment by Matt | September 9, 2009 | Reply

  54. I found your blog and LOVE IT! You’ve got so much positive support on here!

    I recently lost almost 80 pounds! Today I’ve released a book about my own weight loss method called “What If YOU Were Thin” and would like your opinion on it. I used the Japanese method of kaizen to take and keep the weight off.

    If you don’t mind, I’d like to send you a copy at no charge via email as a PDF. Let me know if you’d like a copy and I’ll send it to you today.

    I look forward to reading more of your blogs and hearing from you soon!

    Kindest regards,
    Rachel D. Young

    Comment by Rachel Young | September 28, 2009 | Reply

  55. You have a good blog and good goal to achieve, but I like another way to weight loss based on safety nutrition.
    Generally good work, I will follow you.

    Comment by Amr | October 7, 2009 | Reply

  56. For a diet to work effectively, you must get into workouts that will add spice to your fitness level. The days of steady state boring cardio and doing one thousand crunches are long gone. Rather it is about getting onto high intensity interval training plus super set workouts to blast your fat whilst boosting your muscle growth.

    Mike Jsimon, M.D.
    University of Maryland
    Health,fitness,Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information

    Comment by Height/Weight Chart | October 27, 2009 | Reply

  57. Did You know that your Blog is one of Google’s top 100 for weight loss and dieting?
    Pretty amazing if you ask me!

    Comment by Fit Human | December 12, 2009 | Reply

  58. Far too many of your calories are coming from carbs, particularly refined carbs. If you must carb out, do it earlier in the day. Never ever go to bed on a glut of carbohydrate, it is a sure way to put on weight. Take a look at my blog for some useful stuff on weight loss.
    Weight Loss specialist blog

    Comment by Cathy B | December 28, 2009 | Reply

  59. Did You know that your Blog is one of Google’s top 100 for weight loss and dieting?
    Pretty amazing if you ask me!

    Comment by Yes it is | May 20, 2010 | Reply

  60. awesome!! I cannot wait to use that tool to count my calories! It looks like you’ve had a lot of success so far, congrats! If you have any advice, drop by my blog and leave a comment!! foodmydrugofchoice.blogspot.com

    Comment by Food Addcit | June 4, 2010 | Reply

  61. i just realized this post is from over a year ago.
    I hope your’e still blogging!

    Comment by Food Addcit | June 4, 2010 | Reply

  62. awesome articles on this blog, love it , keep up the good work :)

    Comment by Lima | February 21, 2011 | Reply

  63. I like your determination of watching what you eat. I’m so weak that I would have eaten the brownie until I discovered something recently. What has helped me more to control the bad foods I eat is weight loss affirmations. I have to get my mind right before I eat right. I work on this daily and it has helped me greatly.

    Comment by Keith Jacobs | July 20, 2011 | Reply

  64. Please don’t count calories. I have worked in the fitness industry for a decade. As humans we are meant to eat with pleasure not have to resort to calorie counting. What causes weight gain is sugar and processed foods. Go natural, make healthier choices still have your treats as well just make the ingredients natural versus heavily processed.

    Comment by where to buy phen375 | September 27, 2011 | Reply

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  66. Love your blog! I am very new to the blogging world, but I am not new to the world of needing to lose weight. I am on a new quest for weight loss myself.

    Comment by Cathy Kenyon | November 11, 2011 | Reply

  67. I love having friends which hold me accountable. I recently started on WW online points plus program and although i love it, i feel i couldn’t do it without my friends and husband to keep me going. It is them who say, “I found this program support for you, or Hey check out this new recipe”. Seriously, sometimes all the support we need is right next to us. I loved reading a couple of your blogs and i hope to come back and read more.

    I know keeping track of stuff can be so time consuming but trust me it is so worth it! I have lost 45 lbs in 5 months and honestly couldnt have done it if i hadnt been keeping track. So just stick to it, you’ll do great!!! I never thought i could so now i Believe in anyone who wants to!!

    Keep posting, can’t wait to come back.

    Comment by Kourtney @ HCG Edmonton | December 11, 2011 | Reply

  68. The food journal is the most important thing in my diet because I don’t want to write down that I went over my limit. Sometimes it’s hard not to “lose” the journal for a day or two, but I try to pray through that evil temptation and get back on track with my next meal. I never wait for the next day or the next Monday, because that is too much like giving myself permission to go nuts.

    Comment by Cathy Kenyon | December 12, 2011 | Reply

  69. ughhhhhhhhhhh…..i wanna learn to say no to the brownie!!!

    I have done a bunch of reading on weight loss though and i have learned that our brain is actually like any other muscle. So the more you say no to food the more you are training your brain to stay away from it. It was interesting actually because I know people who have said the more the resist temptation the easier it gets. Interesting little blurb i guess.

    I’ll practice it…after Christmas.. No really, I will.

    I’m kidding a bit and have lost 10 lbs in the past month so i feel great.

    Comment by Lucy @ hcg toronto | December 13, 2011 | Reply

  70. If your goal is to lose fat as fast as humanly possible, it should be no surprise that you absolutely MUST learn to maximize the amount of time your body is actually burning fat. After all, if your body is actively burning fat for 10 hours each day, you’d get much faster results than if it were only burning fat for five.
    But what if you could literally burn fat twenty four hours a day…every day?
    Do you realize how much faster you’d progress? How much more quickly the fat would melt away? How much more rapidly you’d have the body you want?

    Comment by Weight Loss | January 1, 2012 | Reply

  71. I’m so happy for you and your motivation to keep going! It definitely inspires me and i know so many other people as well!

    Comment by Weightlossgirl | February 28, 2012 | Reply

  72. Great blog! I like how you post everything so honest and explain things so well. On thing that you can do when dieting is eat as many fressh green veggies as you want. They don’t contaian enough calories in them to matter but are loaded with nutrients and fiber to speed your metabolism. My brother and I have created a website thats about how to lose love handles. it has lots of good weight loss information and some tips to help keep things simple. Visit http://lovehandlesloser.com and see what you think.

    Comment by Dub | March 19, 2012 | Reply

  73. Hi there. Good job on your weight loss so far. I like to read your up dates and how things are going. You should visit a weight loss site thats about how to lose belly fat, might have some useful information. http://losebigbellyfat.com.

    Comment by Rory | March 19, 2012 | Reply

  74. Hi there great blog! I am also starting a blog http://www.itsmylifejmw.blogspot.ca all about me being fat, too fat. I have learned that losing two pounds a week is realistic and am hoping that this time I dont lose and gain again. I keep trying to tell myself, like not smoking or not drinking, this eating thing has to be a life choice…. blah blah blah I am really proud of you that you are doing so well and would love you to look at my blog too maybe we can be eachothers inspiration….

    Comment by Joanna Whitney | October 17, 2012 | Reply

  75. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you
    are going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!

    Comment by hcg diet drops reviews wholesale | October 22, 2012 | Reply

  76. I have only done a food journal recently when my partner transferred to a new state. It is sad since I don’t have a partner now to do exercise and dieting. It is easier to have a partner since you can watch out or monitor each others improvements. But having a food journal is effective as well.

    Comment by Meg | April 18, 2013 | Reply

  77. we missed your topics alot please come back :(

    Comment by best salad dressing for weight loss | December 2, 2013 | Reply

  78. Like this post…Thanks:)
    -Merrie K.

    Comment by Merrie K. | December 2, 2014 | Reply

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