Fat as Hell…

and not going to take it anymore!

Success or Failure?

I guess it entirely depends on your perspective.

One of the few things I remember from the basic level psychology class that I took in high school, is an exercise in which we (the students) conducted interviews with people who had supposedly just been involved with a traumatic event (a traffic accident, I believe). At the beginning of the assignment, we were led to believe that each participant had experienced a *different* event and, as such, we treated each recounting of that event as being independent of all the other interviews. It wasn’t until after were finished, of course, that we were told that each person we interviewed had actually witnessed the *same* event. Then we were asked to account for all the variations in the stories and to consider how we might have *heard* their accounts differently if, in our own minds, we’d linked them all together.

Even though I’m sure it’s standard fare in most low level psychology courses, this activity sticks with me, even today, as being the harbinger of some important lessons: In some ways, perception is just as important as reality and, depending on the lenses through which something is viewed, individual perspectives on a certain event can be as varied as the people themselves. And what’s more, even the same person can look at one thing differently as factors in their own life begin to change. Time, maturity and life experience can alter our view on just about everything.

I bring this up because I’m feeling entirely stoked about my ability to control my food intake today. In comparison to recent days, I had a really, really good day food wise. Here’s the proof:

Meal Food | Drink Calories
lunch tuna salad made with light mayo and lemon juice 250
celery stalks 25
4 cracker breads + 2 light laughing cow cheese wedges 150
1/3 dark chocolate bar 80
Sub-total 505
dinner grilled chicken breast (approx 4 oz) 130
raw veggies (mostly raw carrots and cauliflower 50
ranch dressing (made with light mayo and skim milk) 250
Sub-total 430
drinks non-fat/sugar free latte (x 2) 200
Sub-total 200
bad, bad snack chocolate cake (this may be a bit of an overestimate 600
but I cannot find nutrtional facts for it anywhere). :(
Sub-total 600
Total 1,735

It’s important to note that “normally” — if I were posting this over at the Food Confessional (which I plan to start doing again beginning Sunday) — I’d be fairly embarrassed by the ginormous calorie total, (particularly in the decadent chocolate cake that hypnotized and had its way with me later in the evening). Normally, I would scold myself for going over my calories (I usually attempt to stay between 1200 & 1500) and, as punishment, would stay up late into the night devising a plan of attack for the following day, to combat my obvious dietary slip up.

But tonight is different. Tonight, I’m thrilled by my 1800 calorie fest. I’m buoyed by what feels like yet another step towards being “officially” back in the saddle. In fact, I feel so good about how I did today that I decided to write about it here (and ad nauseum). In fact, here’s all the reasons why tonight this food diary entry feels like a huge success:

  • I woke up craving veggies this morning, so I cut up some celery and fixed myself some lunch before heading for work, something I haven’t done, well… pretty much all summer.
  • I chose the SUGAR FREE and NONFAT latte options instead of the full fat white chocolate mochas of day’s past. Further, I went with a smaller size. Go me!
  • I resisted the temptation to eat the *entire* chocolate bar and only nibbled on 1/3 of the total. (I think I should consider going into training to become a ninja because, clearly, I have a will of steel!)
  • My husband made some “Rice-a-Roni” (the San Francisco Treat) for dinner tonight, but as you can see, I again resisted.
  • Yes, I ate a big giant piece of cake later on (am currently rethinking the whole ninja thing) but had I *not* eaten it, I’d have totally been under my ideal caloric intake for the day. That’s right, remove one thing and I would have been under. I definitely couldn’t have said that yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day before that. <repeat>
  • None of this food was consumed in bed, under cover of darkness, or in the far stretches of a nearly empty parking lot.
  • Um… hello! I counted my calories today! I counted my calories *and* I posted them. I’m like my own hero!

It’s funny, but when you’ve spent the last few days (weeks) recovering from a fall that felt like slipping off the ledge of a very tall building, tripping over one tiny chocolate cake shaped crack in the pavement just doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.

Seriously, isn’t it amazing how a little shift in perspective can change your entire outlook on things. Believe me, there have been plenty of days in the past, and there will likely be a few more in the future, in which I would have been full of apologies and excuses when reflecting on a day like today. But tonight I celebrate it as the success it is.

So… what’s next?

Well, for starters, tomorrow I’ll do a little bit better than I did today.  I probably won’t be perfect, but I’ll be better.  In fact, I’ve already got my lunch packed. It would appear I’m on a roll. :)

Oh! And speaking of things to be proud of, I have to say that I got all choked up earlier when I saw that BikiniMe had nominated me for this “blog award.” Sadly, I don’t have a prepared acceptance speech, but that won’t stop me from thanking the academy (of one). Muchas Gracias, Chica! I think I’m supposed to nominate some more people at this point, but I’ve never been very good at following the rules, so instead I’ll just say that if any of you feel like you’d like to make someone’s day by sending them a little virtual gold medal, go right ahead. Consider yourself nominated.

As for me, well… I’ve got a lot to celebrate tonight and I think I’ll do so by getting a good night’s sleep. :)

August 15, 2008 - Posted by | losing weight, motivation | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Actually, I think 1800 calories is entirely congratulatory no matter what your perspective – it’s a level of calorie intake that most people (not knowing your bmr I can’t say for sure) would lose weight at, albeit quite slowly.

    So, you’re already back on the horse, lady!

    And besides, in the words of Bill Cosby, Chocolate Cake has eggs, wheat, milk…

    Comment by Christine | August 16, 2008 | Reply

  2. Christine: Yay! Thank you. Oh, and I love that Bill Cosby quote. Priceless. :)


    Comment by justoofat | August 16, 2008 | Reply

  3. Little by little you’ll get back there. Well done diet hero! Mmmm ‘Rice-a-Roni’ sounds intriguing, off to Google it now.

    Comment by Jenny | August 16, 2008 | Reply

  4. I thought the same as Christine: that’s weight-loss material right there! And just tracking calories is a big deal. I tracked for two or three weeks with a goal of 2,500/day. The point wasn’t to lose weight but simply to get into the habit of tracking.

    I think there’s a danger of doing too much at once. Tracking food is onerous and takes time. Organising meals around low calories is another big time hit and then there’s the psychological effect of not being able to just eat what you want. As a result, it seems to me that it’s easier to do it in stages, so that I’m not being hit by everything at once.

    Comment by Sylvia | August 17, 2008 | Reply

  5. That was one great day, chocolate cake notwithstanding. Because you made so many great choices during the day, the cake most likely didn’t do any real damage. I’d count it in the success column for the reasons you give and more.

    Comment by Cammy | August 17, 2008 | Reply

  6. Regardless of what happens, it’s great that you are congratulating yourself for your successes. For me, that is my major downfall. I can be losing 2 pounds a week, and I still don’t think I am doing well enough. At this point, I am at the end of my weight loss road, and I am having trouble congratulating myself. 80 pounds gone, and I still can’t be proud of myself. So I am just amazed at you. Well done! Above all, love yourself.

    Comment by The Baroness | August 17, 2008 | Reply

  7. @The Baroness:
    You can choose to remove the hellish part of your life if you want. It’ll take some practice. I’ve been watching this blog, and she’s come a long ways. I’m proud of the change of tone tthat she uses when talking about herself.

    You can do it, too.

    Best wishes.

    Comment by Joe Average | August 19, 2008 | Reply

  8. I love the food log, great idea! I just started doing one for my Las Vegas Weight Loss Challenge. It really helps me remind myself daily of what I am eating. Well done!

    Comment by Herbalife Las Vegas | January 20, 2009 | Reply

  9. You are worth the pain you are going through. Don’t lose site of the goal. Don’t let a stumble stop the journey, get right back on the road.

    Comment by georgie | September 30, 2009 | Reply

  10. Cool post! Thanks! Popular weight loss diet

    Comment by Paul | October 11, 2009 | Reply

  11. Hello, I came across your blog and just wanted to say you can do it. I know it’s not easy cause I too am trying to lose I know how it is to want to eat want you want and not worry about gaining but we all know that can’t happen. So far I’ve lost about a little over 20 pounds I started at 216 pounds and now I’m at about 194 my clothes are starting to fit and I’m so happy. but I’ve got a lot more to go. so to happy weight loss.

    Comment by chantel adkins | March 4, 2011 | Reply

  12. You can do it. You will do it. If i can do it so can you. I’ve lost a little over 20 pounds. and so happy about that. come follow me in my weight loss journey for I will follow you as well. Here’s to happy weight loss

    Comment by chantel adkins | March 4, 2011 | Reply

  13. I think it’s step by step and you would make it

    Comment by StartLosing TheFat | July 25, 2011 | Reply

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  15. Failure? No this is a success because its your belief based on your goals. Good for you!

    Comment by Where Can I Buy Phen375 | October 19, 2011 | Reply

  16. I think this is a good improvement in your diet and if you are able to maintain this, then it will be great for you. Your attitude is really good and if you are determined enough, then you will surely get the body you want and be healthier.

    Comment by Meg | May 27, 2013 | Reply

  17. So inspirational…
    -Merrie K.

    Comment by Merrie K. | December 2, 2014 | Reply

  18. you forgot breakfast the most important part of the day

    Comment by newintstudents2015 | July 20, 2016 | Reply

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