Fat as Hell…

and not going to take it anymore!

More Questions Than Answers…

I’m a pretty private person – a fact that may seem a little contradictory to the personal nature of this blog. However, despite the inherently public aspect of keeping an online journal, the truth is, I’m not usually one to bear my soul to the world. Let’s face it, even though I’m lucky enough to have several people who read these ramblings regularly and who then, in turn, leave bits of themselves here for me to ponder, all of this is still fairly anonymous. I get to choose how much I share and when or even *if* I share it at all. Yes, this is a public forum, but the amount I expose is entirely up to me, which makes the sharing pretty safe, and therefor something that I’ve been able to reconcile with my own very real need for privacy.

I guess that’s why the last few weeks have been tough for me. Physically and emotionally there’s been a lot going on with me… stuff that’s harder for me to talk about than what I ate yesterday, how many miles I walked (or didn’t walk) tonight or how tightly my jeans are fitting this week. I’ve been telling myself that I need to share this stuff. That keeping it all bottled inside isn’t healthy and that I can only benefit from the wisdom of those people who stumble across my words, but it’s been hard for me to turn that knowledge into action.

As much as I hate to admit it, part of my hesitation has to do with the personal nature of what’s wrong with me. Seriously, it pains me to think that I am *that* much of a prude, but really, it’s hard for me to reveal all the intimate details of my recent gynecological failings to the world. Not only does talking about that stuff make *me* uncomfortable, but I can only imagine how *you* must feel. I keep having visions of people squirming in their chairs and not being able to move onto the next blog in their readers fast enough.

*sigh*

But, you know, the truth is that all of this is embarrassing for another reason. The fact is that the things that are happening to me now are my own fault. I’m not the victim of a bad gene pool (at least not in this case, anyway) and I’m not a statistical anomaly. All the health problems that are plaguing me now are the result of years of neglect on my part. I’ve spent a very long time not listening to my body, and now I am paying the price.

About 15 or 16 years ago I stopped having regular periods. I’ve never been one to keep super good records when it comes to those things, and I wasn’t on birth control at the time, so it was several months before I thought, “hmmm… shouldn’t I be having one of those?” I was in college at the time and didn’t have health insurance, so I just went to the a nearby free clinic. I don’t remember the doctor who saw me, but I remember her pushing me through with little patience. After a quick exam, she basically said that I was obese and that as a result of my own slovenliness, (my words not hers), my periods had stopped. She suggested that I take some pills which would induce my period and that I then start taking birth control to regulate it. She gave me no additional information, and this was long before the days of readily available access to medical information via the internet, so I complied and my periods started again.

I stayed on the pill for a couple of years after that, but then, over time I stopped taking them and eventually my periods became less and less frequent until I averaged only 1 or 2 a year. This went on for years and, like so many other things related to my health, I ignored it.

At this point I wish I could say that it was a fundamental shift in my pattern of behavior that caused me to finally wise up and seek medical attention for this, but the truth is that the only reason I eventually decided that I might need to see a doctor is because, in addition to not having regular periods for, oh… a decade, over the last 2 years or so I’ve also noticed a steady thinning of my hair. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not bald or anything, and in fact my husband assures me that he has noticed no difference in the thickness of my hair at all, (it’s always been pretty thin), but despite his claims to the contrary, I know that it is definitely thinning. I still have the same thin, straight hair that I’ve always had, it’s just that now I have significantly less of it. And even though my husband might not see a difference, I definitely do. And I’m not imagining it.

And so, in short, vanity led me to see a doctor about a problem that I should have addressed long ago. And here’s the thing, as I’ve said here before, I’m not an idiot. I have two degrees, I can finish the New York Times crossword puzzle, I can feed myself and tie my shoes and, in most situations, function in society without the need of assistive technologies… and yet, when it comes to my own health and to taking care of myself properly, apparently, I am a complete moron.

At first, as you know, my doctor thought it was PCOS. So… she strapped me to the table and did an internal ultrasound and discovered precisely nothing: No cysts, no thickened lining of the uterin wall. No anything that might be deemed “remarkable.” So… next she drew some blood and checked all my hormone levels and discovered, again, precisely nothing. Apparently, all my hormone levels are normal. Turns out I’ve got all the right girlie ones and all the right not so girlie ones. And, here’s the kicker, I have the exact right amounts of each.

Woo Hoo! I mean, this is cause for celebration right? Great! No problems! I’m perfectly fine! Yay!

Except… oh yeah. I don’t have periods and I’m losing my hair.
So… what’s next?

Apparently, what’s next is 2 more pills a night in the form of 400mg of prometrium. Even though, as I mentioned above, my hormone levels are all normal.

Don’t worry. I don’t understand it either.

According to my doctor, estrogen is stored in fat. And because I have so much fat, my body thinks that it doesn’t need to make anymore…. and because my body has shut down its little pink estrogen factory, I’m not having periods. All of which sounds good except that none of that really explains why my estrogen levels are *normal* or why I’m losing my hair or what will happen to me if, given the fact that my estrogen levels *are* normal, I start taking what seems to be a pretty large dose of *more* estrogen.

I asked my doctor all of these questions and even though she tried to be reassuring, the truth is that, in my opinion anyway, she really didn’t have very good answers. She said that the bottom line was that I needed to start having periods again and that not having them presented more risks than a few months worth of extra estrogen did. She said that the idea was that by taking the prometrium, we were essentially “jump starting” my own natural systems and that with this little nudge *hopefully* my body would get back into the estrogen making business and that *hopefully* once these cycles were back to normal I’d see the positive changes (regular periods and hair growth) that I was hoping for.

*hopefully*

*sigh*

None of this sounds very promising.

And you know, it pains me to say this, because I’m truly mortified by how shallow I’m being when it comes to all of this, but the fact of the matter is, I’ve been short and fat and dumpy my whole life… and, you know, I just don’t think I can take adding bald to that list. And I can’t tell you how much I wish the prospect of losing my hair didn’t bother me. But it does… it really, really does. And, I’m being totally honest when I say that, I am just not sure I can take it.

I mean, c’mon… really.

Those of you who have been fat your whole lives know what I’m talking about. I’ve endured the slings and arrows of others who think being fat makes you a deserving target of cruelty. I’ve spent my entire life being judged on the basis of my weight. I’ve never been pretty or attractive or anyone’s first choice for anything. I’ve always been fat. It’s utterly defined me. And let me just say, for the record, (and as though it needed to be said at all) that all of that sucks. It sucks. And at this point, when I think about the prospect of adding, to the endless list of ways that I’ve been humiliated or degraded in my life, the idea of being bald too… well, I just have to wonder how much more I’m going to have to endure.

And you know what the worst part is? The worst part is that all of this… all of it… is my own fucking fault. Sure… I could blame it on the fact that I grew up so poor that we literally lived in homeless shelters and under overpasses for part of my childhood and that even when we had a roof over our heads that food was always very scarce. Or maybe I could blame it on the times when, as a child, I was sent into stores wearing oversized clothing and told not to come home until I’d filled the pockets with shoplifted food. I’m sure there are countless other food related childhood traumas that I could point the finger at, and that no one would dispute as being perfectly reasonable explanations for why I’m fat and fucked up today.

But the fact is, I’m an adult. And, what’s more, I’ve been an adult for a long, long time now.

I have to own the fact that *I* am the only person who chooses the food that I put into my body.
*I* am the only one who controls when/if I go to the doctor.
Only *I* can choose to listen to my own body and…
Only *I* can choose to take care of it.

~~~

Forgive me.

I know this isn’t the kind of post that you’re used to seeing here… but all of this is bubbling inside me and, frankly, I’ve got nowhere else to let it spill.

David, my husband, has heard it all before and has nothing intuitive or supportive to offer me. He definitely doesn’t support me taking the hormones that the doctor recommended, but he also doesn’t have any alternate solution. He says he’ll support me no matter what I decide, but the reality is that he can’t possibly understand what I’m going through. He’s never gone a day having to want for anything, much less food, in his entire life. He doesn’t understand my relationship with food and even though I know it’s not intentional, sometimes he totally enables my unhealthy behavior. The bottom line is that I love him, but I can’t turn to him right now.

So… here I am.

For much of this post, I’ve kept my eyes closed… just letting my fingers flail over the keyboard as I purge everything that I’ve been dealing with over the last few weeks. I don’t expect any of you to have any answers, but knowing that I can let it go… that I can spill it all out and pin it to these darks walls, without fear of judgment or condemnation, is very liberating.

I don’t know what will happen next and I hope, for all of our sakes, that I can get back to talking about how much I hate exercising and having to calculate the number of calories in a banana (100) each day. But until then, I feel a little better knowing that none of this has to be a secret that I bury somewhere deep inside me and that, even if I never say any of these words out loud, I don’t really have to bear the burden of them entirely alone. Even if I get zero comments to this post, or even if a few of you choose to stop reading my thoughts as a result of this lunacy, I know that spilling it all here was the right thing to do. Yes. As i said at the onset of this post, I am a private person. But even I have to admit that I feel so much better tonight for having lifted the lid so that I could let off a little steam.

Thank you so much for listening.

July 15, 2008 - Posted by | losing weight | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

35 Comments »

  1. {{{HUG}}}

    Thank you for sharing this on such a delicate and personal issue; I am in awe of you. It must’ve been driving you batty keeping it to yourself, though I can imagine, the thought of sharing everything must’ve been mortifying.

    Thank you again. :-)

    Comment by Marshmallow | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  2. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope it helps you as much as it helped me to read it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about and can I just say that I particularly relate to the paragraph below:

    Those of you who have been fat your whole lives know what I’m talking about. I’ve endured the slings and arrows of others who think being fat makes you a deserving target of cruelty. I’ve spent my entire life being judged on the basis of my weight. I’ve never been pretty or attractive or anyone’s first choice for anything. I’ve always been fat. It’s utterly defined me. And let me just say, for the record, (and as though it needed to be said at all) that all of that sucks. It sucks.

    Oh and the bald thing, I am going through it too (as well as the facial hair thing). It sucks, not much more I can say about it.

    Comment by Tully | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  3. Wow…..you’ve got a lot on your plate and so much on your mind…and your story is pretty much mine….thinking about PCOS….my hormone levels are normal, my ovaries and uterus are fine…but no periods…I’m newly married and the thought of not having a child scares me….and my husband doesn’t understand the weight of all this either….pardon the pun. I’m glad we can all be there for each other! Keep plugging on, we’re here for you!

    Comment by Megan | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  4. I’m feeling for you. I know exactly how distressing it is as it happened to me three years ago when I completely lost my hair. I did write a post about what happened and what I did about it but I think it was long before you joined me.

    The Dr was pretty unhelpful. Eventually I saw a trichologist. It didn’t help immediately of course but she was able to tell me that the follicles were still there and lay my mind to rest, then we started to work on the problem.

    The problem has been rearing it’s head again and the last few weeks I’ve been treating it again to good effect. I’ll write some hints and tips about it in the next few days and try and look out the original.
    Sorry about the long comment!

    Comment by Jenny | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  5. I don’t have much to offer but a warm smile and a hug. I understand little of what you’ve mentioned – I stopped having my period for several months in 2002. I had no clue what was happening then and I’m not sure I understand now. All I can say is thank you for sharing something so personal and so scary.

    Take care!

    Comment by Elisa | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  6. I cried for you today. Because in so many ways, I am like you.

    I am in denial of my health – my weight and my severe need of a dentist that I have been avoiding for (groan) at least 5 years.

    I refuse to see anyone about fertility issues until I lose the weight. I mean, if a baby isn’t important enough for me to not have the second sugary white mocha for the day, why should I go to a doctor and put more stuff in my body that I could probably fix on my own?

    And my hair is all I’ve got. Well, my breasts are nice too. But for the most part? I would go crazy if the hair went.

    But here is where the therapist in my comes out. Yes, only we have control of what we eat and how much we move. BUT you really need to take your past into consideration. You have to look at your life in context. I honestly believe that we do the best we can. If I was able to do something differently, I would. For whatever reason. Looking back, wallowing in regret, only makes it harder to look forward because we can assume that things will only continue the way they have gone. Just look forward and do the best you can day by day.

    I am very proud of you for this post. It took a lot of courage. I hope you are feeling calmer after sharing.

    If there is anything I can do, feel free to let me know.

    Hang in there. We’re here for you.

    Comment by krissie | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  7. “hugs” it must have been so difficult to open yourself up to everyone!! I can only guess how much pain you were in keeping it to yourself. You should always feel as though you can express your pain here! We are definitely here for you with open arms and hearts!!

    Comment by suzanne | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  8. Big hugs to you. You are so brave to share this and I am in awe of you for taking the leap of faith that this was a safe enough place for you to express yourself. We are here for you and hopefully you will find only support and love from your readers.

    Comment by Big Girl | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  9. Sending hugs and prayers. It’s all I can offer. I agree with the others who said it was very brave of you to share it all and I’m sure it will help you release some of the tension you’ve had holding it all in. Since you are taking the responsibility for your own body, I know you will be able to make healthy changes one step at a time.

    And if I’d have gone through the things you went through when you were little, I think I’d be a LOT more messed up. Our past always has some effect on the way we live our lives, but only we can overcome that and I know you can with your determined attitude!

    Comment by MamaBearJune | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  10. I am so sorry to hear waht you are going through. Medical issues can be a scary thing! My one and only suggestion is to maybe get a second opinion if you are not comfortable taking the hormones. I have had a few medical issues in the past, and I didn’t always like what I would hear from the doctors. I would research then find a doctor who would really listen to me and my concerns and who would take the time to talk to me, and find the root of the problem, instead of just treating the symptoms. I really hope everything works out for you! {hugs}

    Comment by Shanna | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  11. It’s so alarming how far we have to go in understanding the issues of female hormones and reproductive systems. In 50 years, they may be able to take a measurement of whatever x, y, or z it is that controls hair growth in various areas around the body. For now, we deal with thinning on top and thickening elsewhere and try to act like it doesn’t bother us. We pour our money into cosmetic and pseudo-medical solutions, and we don’t discuss it in “polite” company. F that, man. This is a real issue you are going through. Hang in there…

    Comment by latebloomerlog | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  12. Thank you for writing this post. I cannot being to imagine the stress this has caused.

    I’m on dial-up temporarily but will poke around the net when I’m back online properly – I know that researching one’s *own* medical condition is just like more pain.

    Comment by Paola | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  13. I hope it helped you to write this; it sure helped me to read it.

    Since I’ve lost so much weight, my hair has thinned a fair amount. It’s not *too* noticeable, but it bugs me. As you said so eloquently, for too many years I focused on my hair and my nails and my handbag–anything that wasn’t related to my size. And so it bugged me when my stylist told me it was thinning.

    The good news is that as my body and my hormones have adjusted, my hair has started thickening again. There are vitamins and treatments that will help.

    The main thing to remember (and I think I’ve even convinced myself of this) is that it truly is the inside that counts. You can buy a wig or extensions; you can’t buy compassion and determination and moxie–all characteristics you have, in spades.

    I hope you’ll feel better about everything soon!

    Comment by Cammy | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  14. I think I could have written 3/4 of this post–I SO know where you’re coming from, and I truly get how hard it is to believe that you’ve brought things down upon yourself by years of neglect or inattention.

    You’re a lovely, lovely person, and no matter what, it is going to be all right.

    Sending you a big cyber hug!

    Comment by G.G. | July 16, 2008 | Reply

  15. Please don’t feel like you’re burdening ANYONE with this post. This is the kind of thing that helps me keep going. I’ve had all sorts of anxiety issues lately and posts like this help me to feel like I’m not alone in the world with my frustrations and failures.

    With that in mind…

    First of all, I’ve had a hysterectomy. Before then, f I hadn’t gotten my period every month I’d have considered it a joy and blessing. I never would have tried to restart it.

    The hair thing — not shallow at all. As someone who has never had a terrific body or spectacular face in any way, my hair has been my only source of joy. People often compliment it and if it went, I’d feel awful. It’s the only part of my body I am comfortable with.

    As for taking the hormones — I don’t understand why your husband would oppose that. Why? It’s no big thing. Is he worried about your health or is it some kind of stigma thing about no one should take meds?

    Anyway, I’m so glad you wrote this post and hope that your friends here let you know how adored you are…

    Comment by pantrypuff | July 17, 2008 | Reply

  16. This was great for you to be able to get this out and off your chest. And look how many people are supporting you and encouraging you! You really are NOT alone, and it’s times like this when sharing stuff that we may find scary or personal or embarrassing is the most important, because then we can feel surrounded by friendship and love & be on the way to feeling whole again! Take care!

    Comment by Teale | July 17, 2008 | Reply

  17. {{{{BIG BEAR HUG}}}}}

    I hear ya sista! I have always had abnormal cycles only mine are the complete opposite of yours. I wont gross you out with the details but please know that the blogging community is here for you. :)

    I too have been overweight my whole life and just this past year I have really begun to understand that only I am respondible for the quality of my life. So with that thought I wanted to share a book with you that really helped me put things into perspective, YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise Hay. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful book!

    I hope you get the chance to read it soon.

    XOXOXOXOXO

    Comment by Olivia | July 18, 2008 | Reply

  18. You know I love you, right? I wish I could give you a great big hug right now.

    I’m so glad you wrote this post, as hard as it was for you to do. I’m not offended or repulsed or bored by anything that you’ve revealed — instead, I just feel blessed to have this chance to know you better. Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself — true, many of your health problems could have been prevented if you weren’t overweight or if you had been listening to your body, but you’re on the right path NOW and you’ve been making great progress and forging a healthy relationship with your body. You’ve made such great progress that you are no longer interested in hiding your head in the sand about your health!! Am I right, or am I right? :)

    My heart breaks reading about your childhood — again, wish I could give you a hug right about now. But damn, talk about a success story! You have a strength of will that is absolutely amazing — building the life you have now out of the life you had then. *HUG* *HUG* HUG*

    And now we should have a cup of coffee and a funny chick-flick movie. :)

    Comment by BikiniMe | July 18, 2008 | Reply

  19. You know, my best friend is a lot like you. She has a MA and is no slouch, but she doesn’t go to the doctor, ever.

    Comment by Irene | July 18, 2008 | Reply

  20. I think it’s good that you were able to share all of this and vent. Never feel like you can’t do that. We’re all here for you, girl. :)

    Hang in there. You are working towards getting healthy, and you have accomplished so much already.

    I have a few friends who have thinning hair as well. One of them is not overweight, while one is. I think it tends to be a hereditary thing and often has nothing to do with weight. There are many options available for women now who have thinning hair. And my advice would be to visit a professional hair replacement center if it does not improve. My one friend did, and she said that she wished that she had done it years earlier instead of going through all the emotional stress that she endured. She has a custom-made hair piece that clips on to her own hair and blends with her own hair perfectly. Her thinning problem is mainly on the top and sides, as it is with most women. You cannot tell that she is wearing a hair piece, and she looks gorgeous and all natural. She looks younger, and has much more confidence.

    Comment by Chubby Chick | July 20, 2008 | Reply

  21. HI!
    I am so sorry to hear of your health situation.
    Thanks for sharing, it was brave and I hope it helped you feel a little bit better.
    Fingers crossed that the hormomes work wonders.

    Comment by Dianne | July 20, 2008 | Reply

  22. You did an amazing thing by opening up like that. I think you helped a lot of people. I hope it helps you too, getting it out and knowing that people do CARE.

    I don’t have PCOS or any diagnosis, but wanted to say that when I got over 245 pounds my hair was thinning a bit and my periods, which had always been 28 day cycles, went to 32 day, then 35, then 38… sometimes even 40. I even skipped a month when I weighed 278. I never understood why, but your hormone explanation makes sense.

    When I got back dow under 240-ish, my cycles started to shorten again. I am back to 28 day cycles now (at 218 pounds) so I am hoping things will improve for you also over time. Hugs!

    Comment by Lyn | July 20, 2008 | Reply

  23. the symptoms you mention totally sound thyroid related.
    Have you had a full work up of your thyroid? It controls hair loss, weight, periods, and even depression. (sorry..)

    Ask your doctor to do the full panel – not just tsh 3/4.
    it will help you identify if its that. I hope you find what you need.

    Comment by Lucy | July 22, 2008 | Reply

  24. A few thoughts:

    First of all, that wasn’t TMI at all. Very little is, these days, and you’re puzzling through something that’s affecting your life, so it’s not TMI. (People can always click away.)

    Second, whether you are to blame doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are taking responsibility for your life and your health and your body now. NOW is what matters, and now is when you are in the midst of awesome self-care actions that are hard, like going to talk to the doctor about something you find embarrassing. That takes guts, and you’re showing you have guts. So instead of feeling guilty for the past, focus on the fact that you are being proactive now and be glad that you are taking care of yourself now. (I mean, come on–what person hasn’t had a period of time–however long–wherein he or she hasn’t practiced good self-care?)

    Third, I think you need a second opinion. I don’t believe your doctor’s diagnosis given what you’ve said in the post. Only you are inhabiting that body, and if that extra estrogen doesn’t feel right, I say don’t take it—or at least don’t take it until you’ve gotten another opinion, and maybe not even then. If your period will come back as you lose weight, great. But plenty of doctors think not having a period is not a big deal. (I mean, hello–they implant Mirena, and it stops periods in healthy women for years sometimes.)

    Fourth, I think for a lot of us women, our hair is like our breasts. We know that we are far more than one part of us, but the idea of losing that part of us is enormous. When I had cancer and was contemplating the possibility of chemo, the most immediately upsetting thing to me was the idea of losing my hair, something I had taken for granted I would have in its current condition for many years. That doesn’t make you vain or silly, and I think/hope you know that. It just makes you normal. :)

    Fifth, I’m proud of you for writing this post even when it took you closing your eyes to get yourself to do it. It’s hard to put yourself out there like this sometimes; I know, because sometimes I wake up thinking, “Oh shit,” after I have posted something that makes me vulnerable the day before. And then I’m inevitably glad I posted it later on. :D

    Comment by Sally Parrott Ashbrook | July 22, 2008 | Reply

  25. Heya hun – hope you’re doing okay?

    We’d love to hear from you again!

    Comment by Marshmallow | July 22, 2008 | Reply

  26. I’m so with you on the anonymity of blogging your heart out- I just started my “Violet” blog for exactly that reason. Violet is my alter-ego… a way for me to vent and journal online while remaining pretty anonymous.

    I hope that whatever decision you make, things turn around for you soon.

    Comment by Violet | July 25, 2008 | Reply

  27. I just wanted to say that this is the first time I’ve come to this blog and it was really inspiring. not because of the medical issues, which are real, but because you have had the courage to sit down, write it all out, and most importantly look at all this in the face. There is no running away from yourself here.

    Secondly, you must know that your problems are shared by many other people and you are not alone in this quest. As you know, there are wigs, extensions etc. and the hair falling out is not a permanent problem. However, don’t focus on the hair and forget about sticking to the weight loss plan. Its incredibly hard, but that’s what you’ve gotta do, and that you’re doing so well already.

    Your life is ahead of you. And you can change it.

    Comment by Au Bese | July 26, 2008 | Reply

  28. Wow, you are facing some hard facts right now. I am glad that you vented, and got most of what was bothering you out. I will check back to see how you are feeling. I hope better…

    Comment by Lynn | July 28, 2008 | Reply

  29. What was that about not getting a single comment on this post? Look at this response, girl! You can’t get rid of us!

    I have no magic words of wisdom, but we’ll be here to support you along the way. And I get what you’re saying about your hair. It’s something that’s so personal and identifies you as YOU, I understand why the thought of losing it would scare the beejeezus out of you.

    That said, if you lose your hair I promise to shave my head in support. And then help you pick out a FABulous rock star wig.

    Comment by fatbridesmaid | July 28, 2008 | Reply

  30. Tomorrow starts a new month, how about a fresh start, we’re all here for you.

    Comment by Diana | July 31, 2008 | Reply

  31. wow good luck with this. I hope you are able to get some good answers and a solution that helps. I feel you on the hair thing…for me it’s been the 1 feature I’ve always been complemented on and now it’s coming out in handfuls =( yet no one notices a difference but me!

    I’ll check back to see how you are making out.

    Comment by SmushPants | August 2, 2008 | Reply

  32. As other commenters said — Wow.

    I used to work at a pharmacy, and pharmacists know a lot more about drugs than doctors do, so you may want to talk to your pharmacist about your questions, and see if s/he can help you really understand (although to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure that pharmacists really understand some female drugs — I mean **really** understand them — they may know them in a clinical sense, but not in a personal sense, which is what most people who ingest the drugs want to know). You could possibly also take a female form of Rogaine, or something along those lines — again, a pharmacist will be able to tell you if there’s anything on the market right now for it.

    But have you ever thought about alternative doctors or medicine? Or “complementary”? Although I’ve never been to one, I have a high respect for them (although I know there are a lot of quacks out there). They treat the person as an entire human being, rather than a conglomeration of various systems. Regular doctors look at just the female endocrine system, or just the circulatory system, or just this or just that, when a patient comes to them with a problem. But the body is one inter-locking, inter-working system, not just bits and pieces thrown together haphazardly. What affects one thing will affect another — as you know in your case, because of the weight affecting your periods and now your hair.

    Anyway, I gotta get going, but wanted to give you a cyber-hug as you go through this.

    Comment by Kathy | August 4, 2008 | Reply

  33. Please let us know how you’re doing, we miss you!

    Comment by Marshmallow | August 4, 2008 | Reply

  34. Calorie cutting is not smart. Look into increasing metabolic rate.

    Comment by Gordon | August 1, 2011 | Reply

  35. Stared different project:
    http://tamika.w.telrock.org

    Comment by lottiexi2 | July 23, 2018 | Reply


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