They Don’t Call it a Confessional For Nothing
I have to tell you… I’ve really been struggling lately.
Struggling not to put food I don’t need to eat into my mouth.
Struggling to make time to add up my calories each day.
Struggling to get off my ass and do some kind of exercise (beyond just walking each day).
Struggling to stick to the stick-to-it-ness that’s kept me going so far.
One of the things I’ve tried really hard to do through out all of this is to not have unrealistic expectations of myself. I know I’m not perfect. I know that I never will be. I know too that expecting perfection from myself will only result in big FAT failure(s). Believe me, I’ve spent a lifetime setting myself up for failure, and I promised myself that this time would be different.
So far, I’ve done pretty well… but lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.
It’s tough to keep up with all the work that doing this involves. Between all the writing and tallying and posting and commenting and recording and analyzing and fretting and… well, you get the picture… it’s no wonder I can’t find time to exercise! Or at least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself.
Lately, I’ve been trying to find the *easy* way out of all of this. Ironically, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to lose weight without doing all the stuff that’s helped me lose weight in the first place.
Now, I realize that there are some people out there who don’t *need* to exercise to lose weight. People who don’t *need* to count calories or keep a food diary or to blather on endlessly about this freakishly hard journey. And while I *hate* those people, I also greatly envy them because I am NOT one of those people.
I *do* need those things.
And I *need* to make time for them or I won’t continue to lose weight.
So… to that end, I’ve decided to accept Paola’s gracious invitation to join the “food confessional” where I will attempt to post my daily food diary. I haven’t decided about how to best record my daily exercise, but I know that I have to start doing that too. Further, I know that I need to be better about setting weekly goals and then recording my progress towards them.
*sigh*
I wish I could do this without all the virtual “paper pushing,” as it were, but the hard truth is that I can’t.
It’s funny, but you’d think that this far into it, I’d know more. You’d think that having lost 75lbs, I’d have it all figured out… but I really don’t. In some ways, it still feels as though those 75lbs just sort of came off by accident. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked hard for them, but I can’t pin point one or two key things that made it possible.
Here’s what I *think* I know:
I *think* that when I write things down, I am more apt to eat less.
I *think* that if I don’t exercise before 8:00pm, it ain’t happening.
I *think* that my body processes fiber differently than other people.
I *think* that if I don’t get 8 hours of sleep, I suck at saying no to foods I shouldn’t be eating.
I *think* that I can’t just “have a starbucks” once in awhile… I’ve got to quit that stuff cold turkey or it will forever be a problem for me.
I haven’t, however, figured out the following:
How to make exercise a *habit* and not just something that I feel like I am forcing myself to do.
How to wean my husband off of junk food and onto healthier choices.
How to prioritize my time such that creating a healthy life for myself comes first.
How, when I don’t have enough time for everything, to figure out which things I absolutely must do in order to be successful.
If any of you have this all worked out, please… I’d welcome your insight.
In the meantime, I’m giving the confessional a go. I know I won’t be perfect… but right now I’m just shooting for more days when I do the right things than days when I don’t.
Schedule a set time for your exercise - put it in the diary, or whatever, and just do it. Same as you brush your teeth or have a shower (one hopes!). Or a meeting that you have to attend. It’s just something that has to be done, and before too long you’ll miss it when you have to skip it for some reason.
About the husband - men work differently to what we do (in case you hadn’t figured that out already, haha). They need a job to do; to feel useful. A goal. You need to tell him that you need him to help you in this weight-loss thing. You can’t do it without his full support and committment. You need him to help you eat better. You need to tell him that when he eats junk food in front of you, then he is saying that what you are striving for isn’t important.
Don’t bog him down in details (counting calories, for eg) but general guidelines: green stuff on the plate is good, deep-fried stuff isn’t. Does he cook? If he’s open to the idea, try working your way through some recipes together.
And good luck. Some men are stubborn bastards that only think of themselves. I really hope that you have one of the other sort…
Louise is right on with the husband thing (being one myself). A normal, average man wants to please his wife, but usually needs something concrete to do. Worse, “joe average” can’t read minds. Even if his wife just wants some time together, she frequently needs to say, “Just sit here on the couch and hold my hand.”
The good news is that men *can* be trained to know what their wives want, despite all appearance to the contrary. :)
“Some men are stubborn bastards that only think of themselves.”
True. I don’t count them in the “normal, average man” category. Still, that’s a human failing generally, not a Y chromosome failing. I doubt Louise was suggesting that there are no stubborn witches in the world. :)
It is hard at times and sometimes it is overwhelming. I’ve found my blog really helps me keep focused but I do know what you mean.
Walking is actually good enough exercise. 10,000 (brisk) steps is recommended.
You’re carrying more weight and so - think about it - you’re effectively lifting weights while you walk. As you get lighter, you can consider doing more traditional exercisey things but I think your daily 10,000 steps is making a significant difference to your heart and bones as well as helping you lose weight.
Louise: I appreciate your insight and advice. I think you are definitely right about the exercise thing — In many ways it’s *still* about will power for me. As for my husband, *most* of the time he is incredibly supportive. I think he genuinely tries to help me stay on track, though sometimes he fails miserably. I suppose we’re *both* learning and I have to be patient with him too.
Rithban: I have to agree that being a selfish bastard has nothing to do with gender… we *all* display that tendency every once in awhile — some of us just more than others. That said, I also agree that it’s unfair to expect your needs to be met if you’re unwilling to communicate those needs. I don’t think I fall into that category. I realize that telling *him* is far more effective than telling all of you. :)
Andrew: I totally agree. I shudder to think where I’d be now without the blog. It’s been a lifeline for me on more than one occasion.
Paola: I agree that the walking is beneficial and I’m thrilled to be doing it… but I’m at the point where I want to start building a bit of muscle. I’ve lost 75lbs and yet my measurements (especially in the stomach area) have barely changed. I don’t want to *stop* walking — I just want to add something more to my regiment. I just haven’t figured out what yet.
Thanks everyone!
j
Hi!! I use a program called Fitday to log my exercise and calories and measurements. If you buy the actual program it’s got a bunch of features but you can try it for free at http://www.fitday.com. You should give it a try….it may make things a bit easier!
Don’t sell yourself short! You’ve learned A LOT in 75 lbs! And you’re doing the right things. Mostly.
Something I’m wondering: is it necessary for you to record things as you’re doing now? I use a small weekly appointment calendar and each day I write down the number of minutes exercised and what I did. On weigh-in day, I write my weight. I even write “Rest Day” on the day I didn’t exercise. LOL Anyway, it takes me seconds to do this. For food, I write down only any non-healthy-ish things, like Cake Day.
Obviously not every method is for everyone, but it sounds like you’re really searching for a simpler way. I hope you find it! Soon!
Hey Jen, the most important thing is the doing, not the logging.
HUGS!