Fat as Hell…

I’ve heard it said that it takes approximately 21 days to build a habit. For example, if each day, for 21 days, you come home from work and force yourself to step immediately onto the exercise bike, pedal for 30 minutes and then go think about what you want for dinner, on the 22nd day,(or thereabouts) you won’t have to force yourself. It will be a habit… just like getting up and brushing your teeth each morning. It will require no thought. It will just be something you do. 21 days to build a habit.

I wonder how many days it takes to break a bad one?

Lately, I’ve been pretty hard on myself for making some bad choices that have significantly slowed my weight loss. As the token fat girl in most situations, over the years I’ve worked hard to cultivate my wit and intelligence, rather than try to compete with the “skinny girls” who, in my mind, never had to be particularly smart or funny because what they lacked in substance they made up for in other, far more superficial, ways. (I know… I know, this is an unfair assessment, but it is honest.) That said, I’m not particularly tolerant with myself when I do something that I consider to be stupid. And let’s face it, eating a whole plate full of fried chicken when you’re attempting to lose weight and be healthy isn’t going to qualify you for mensa.

However, a recent post over at questions for dessert has got me thinking. In it, Krissie talks a bit about how the good habits in her life are starting to overshadow or “crowd out” the bad ones. She says: “I am a new person most of the time. And that’s good enough. I’m never going to be perfect. But I can be healthy repeatedly, and let that crowd out my mistakes.” For me, these words have been particularly inspiring.

When I think about the life I am living now, I realize that I too am being healthy *most* of the time. And when I think about the life I lead now versus the one I used to live… well, there’s no comparison. Yes. I fuck up sometimes. We all do. But what I have to remember is that one mistake doesn’t equate to an entire change of lifestyle. The thing that, perhaps, I’ve lost sight of is that it’s taken me six months to transform the miserably unhealthy life that I was living into the happier and healthier one I’m living now. It takes more that one day’s slip up to undo what has, over time, turned into a habit for me.

I may not be at the level of physical activity that I’d like to be at yet, but exercising nearly every day *has* become a habit for me. I may sometimes order an unhealthy choice at dinner, but measuring my portions and counting up calories *has* become a habit for me. I may sometimes make bad choices, but making the right ones *has* become a habit for me.

Krissie is right. I won’t ever be perfect, but I can be “healthy repeatedly, and let that crowd out my mistakes.”

Brilliant.