Why?

In July of 2007 I found myself at the brink:

36 years old.
5′3″ tall.
319 lbs.
Blood pressure: 208/95

The list goes on.

I’ve been fat my whole life, but never like this.
There’s lots of reasons for this… and I’m sure as this chronicle of my journey towards better health continues, I’ll explore many of them, but right now, they don’t really matter.

Today, it’s January 1st, 2008.
I’m still 5′3″, but I’m down to 278lbs.
My blood pressure is averaging 130/77, but only through the addition of medication.

I’ve already lost 42lbs, but I have a long way to go. Not surprisingly, the holidays have been a struggle and I feel, going into the new year, that I need more than just a strong desire to move forward. I’d wanted to lose 50lbs by Christmas and the week before I was at 46lbs.  Clearly, I didn’t make it.  The truth is that each day, it is getting a little bit harder to stick with the strategies that have helped me take off the weight I have already lost and, the fact of the matter is that, I have just worked too fucking hard to let it all go at this point. It’s easy to declare that I simply won’t go back there, but the truth is that I don’t know. Like most fat people, I’ve said that a million times before. And even though this is the first time I’ve ever lost this much weight, c’mon, I weighed 319lbs. Will power isn’t my defining characteristic.

Thus, the point of this blog is to chronicle my journey towards a healthier life, to boost my motivation and to help “keep me honest.” Here I will be keeping a food and exercise diary. I will admit failure and celebrate success. I don’t just want to lose weight, I want to live a longer, healthier life without medication and all of the health problems that accompany obesity.

So far… I’m lucky. I don’t have diabetes. My arteries are clear. I’ve seen the light before facing death… but I know that those things were just around the corner. The high blood pressure is a bitch, but I’m determined to get off the meds before its all over. And what’s more, I’m not looking at this as a diet. I am not on a diet. I’m changing my whole life. From the amount of hours I sleep each night, to adding exercise to my previously sedentary life, this is a transformation, not a diet.

So… what happens next?
Guess there’s only one way to find out.